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Going Down in La-La Land (2006)
Finalist, 2006 Lambda Literary Award for Romance
(Gay Male); Nominated 2006
Lambda Literary Gay Men's Debut Fiction Awards
Going Down in La-La Land is a candid, sexy, and
outrageously funny look at what an actor can-and will-do to survive in
Hollywood. Young, ambitious, and gay, Adam Zeller arrives from New York with
the looks and talent to become a star but soon finds himself lost in a seamy
(and steamy) underworld of gay porn and male prostitution, dealing with
down-and-out directors, washed up starlets, crystal meth addicts, and the
pretty boy Hollywood "A" list.
Where the interaction, social hierarchy, and manic personalities at the
talent agency were unbearable; the porn industry was just plain
mind-boggling. I would come to find out both environments had plenty of
larger than life characters. The difference was in the porn world people
actually treated each other better and lacked the big egos. Those involved
were realistic about the kind of work they did, and that they were
considered the bottom of the barrel by the rest of Tinseltown. Yet at least
they were honest and up front about being money-grubbing pigs and users,
which was more than I could say for the suits at the agency. It was sad but
true; the dirty world of porn was nicer than the legit business world,
whether it be a television network or Wall Street.
As far as taking my clothes off, I had no problem with it. I always said
that if it came back to haunt me, I would tell the truth.
"I was poor, broke, and needed the cash," I would fantasize myself crying to
an interviewer upon getting famous someday, my past being found out. Boo hoo,
Everyone has to pay the bills somehow. And if you are an artist of any kind,
be it actor, writer, painter, or whatever, at times you had to be very
creative to make ends meet.
Struggling to find his way back to the yellow brick road of stardom, Adam
gets a first-hand education on the X-rated film industry and finds out what
really goes on in the town’s top talent agencies. But it’s not long before
he’s reduced to working as a male prostitute, turning tricks with a
billionaire businessman and getting a peek inside the closet of one of
America’s most beloved TV stars.
He stared bashfully at the ground. He had a very sweet and endearing quality
that I found very attractive. It was certain that he was more intimidated
with me than the other way around. I actually found him kind of sexy. His
hair was thick and curly, and he wore it very short. His eyes were big and
blue, and drooped just a bit, like those of a puppy dog. His build was stout
and thick, like that of a maintenance man. He had a belly that bulged a bit
over his pants, but nothing that hung over. And a barrel chest and burly
arms offset his wide middle, so in reality he looked in proportion. It was a
nice change from the cookie cutter, overly worked out bodies I saw all over
town, and on the covers of the video boxes I shrink-wrapped every other day.
Inspired by the real-life experiences of author/actor Andy Zeffer (The
Fluffer), Going Down in La-La Land is a sexy and scandalous look at the
other side of Hollywood, where dreams are dashed and hopes replaced with
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