Fiction

The Crime of Fashion Mysteries

1. Killer Hair (2003)
   Home of the helmet hairdo and Congressional comb-over, Washington, D.C. is a hotbed of fashion faux pas. If anyone should know, it's "Crimes of Fashion" columnist Lacey Smithsonian. She dishes out advice to the scandal-scorched and clothing-clueless, doing her part to change this town-one fashion victim at a time...
   
   An up-and-coming stylist, Angie Woods had a reputation for rescuing down-and-out looks-and careers-all with a pair of scissors. But when Angie is found with a drastic haircut and a razor in her hand, the police assume she committed suicide. Lacey knew the stylist and suspects something more sinister-that the story may lie with Angie's star client, a White House staffer with a salacious website. With the help of a hunky ex-cop, Lacey must root out the truth...
   
   Some of The Crime of Fashion Mysteries have been adapted into a Lifetime Movie Network series.  Click here is a link to one of the trailers for Killer Hair.  Killer Hair premiered Sunday, June 21, 2009.

2. Designer Knockoff (2004)
   When fashion columnist Lacey Smithsonian learns that a new fashion museum will soon grace decidedly unfashionable D.C., it's more than a good story-it's a chance to show off her vintage Hugh Bentley suit. And it's not long before the dapper designer himself spots Lacey in the crowd. A reporter at heart, she manages to get all the juicy details about his past-including a long-unsolved mystery about a missing employee. Could it be linked to the disappearance of a Washington intern or the recent Bentley boutique robbery? Lacey sets out to unravel the murderous details in a fabric of lies, greed-and (gasp!) very bad taste...

3. Hostile Makeover (2005)
   What could possibly ruin Washington, D.C., fashion reporter Lacey Smithsonian's long-awaited romantic weekend with the man of her dreams?  For starters, his man-eating ex-wife, her mother's makeover ambush, her too-perfect little sister, her lovesick coworker's jinx, her stolen car, and trying to solve the murder of an arrogant supermodel -- before it even happens!  On the fashionable heels of Killer Hair and Designer Knockoff, in Hostile Makeover Ellen Byerrum's stylish sleuth Lacey Smithsonian tangles with America's extreme makeover mania, a romance on the rocks, family binds that tie a little too tight, and even the Grim Reaper.  Can Lacey keep her dream weekend from becoming a nightmare -- and escape her own hostile makeover at the hands of one very cool killer?

   Some of The Crime of Fashion Mysteries have been adapted into a Lifetime Movie Network series, including Hostile Makeover.  Hostile Makeover premiered Sunday, June 28, 2009.

   • Hostile Makeover Computer Game (November 6, 2009)
     Supermodel Amanda Manville has been murdered! It's up to the smart and sassy Lacey Smithsonian to investigate a colorful cast of nine quirky characters before the killer strikes again. Thankfully, she's armed with her razor wit and perfect matching pumps. Based upon the devilishly funny Crime of Fashion Mystery novel by Ellen Byerrum, help solve this smart and spunky fashion murder mystery!

     • Collect New Fashions That Grant Cool Abilities.

     • Explore Washington DC.

     • Expand Your Fashion Knowledge.

     • If Looks Could Kill...

4. Raiders of the Lost Corset (2006)
   Lacey can't wait to see France for the first time with friend Magda Rousseau, corset creator for D.C.'s wealthiest and kinkiest. Lacey's job there is to report on haute couture, but the real reason for the trip is the supposed Rousseau lost treasure: a corset lined with jewels. But just before the big trip, someone poisons Magda. Could it have something to do with the priceless corset? To find out, Lacey must follow a dangerous thread that will lead her to the answers-and perhaps the missing jewels.

5. Grave Apparel (2007)
   Can Lacey Smithsonian save Christmas? It’s a Christmas in crisis at The Eye Street Observer, and guess who’s taking the blame. The op-ed page is attacking gaudy holiday sweaters! The food editor is boycotting her baking! Lacey’s two least favorite people at the newspaper are on a murderous collision course! And a vicious unsolved attack in the alley (with an oversized candy cane?) has the whole newsroom on edge. Is Lacey ruining Christmas, or is all of Washington, D.C., ruining hers?! To save Christmas, Lacey must unravel the secret of a mysterious child last seen wearing a shepherd’s robe from a Nativity scene—and face a killer who would destroy more than just a child’s Christmas.

6. Armed and Glamorous (2008)
   Unchallenged and unappreciated, fashion reporter Lacey Smithsonian slips on her trench coat and high-heeled gumshoes to pursue a course in private investigation and a shot at a better job.
   
   When a wealthy and erratic D.C. socialite is discovered quite dead outside the classroom, Lacey gets to test those sleuthing skills. Was the victim on her way to share a dangerous secret with Smithsonian? And what does it have to do with a missing Louis Vuitton vintage custom makeup case?
   
   Lacey must mix style with substance to unravel these tangled threads before she, or one of her best friends, gets caught in the sights of a cold-blooded killer…

Plays

Writing as Eliot Byerrum

• A Christmas Cactus: A Holiday Mystery Comedy in Two Acts  (1999)
  Christmas Eve is no bed of roses for struggling private eye Cactus O'Riley, a fiery redhead with a bad case of the holiday blues. It's tough business; is she really cut out to be a detective? Should she try to scrape up the rent or close up shop for good? The last surprise package she needs is a lovelorn deputy D.A., a pair of armed-and-goofy fugitives hunting some dead private eye, and her male secretary's overbearing mother, who mistakes a tense hostage situation for just the perfect little murder mystery party. It's a Dickens of a Christmas for Cactus as she digs up long-buried mysteries, looks for a few small miracles, and takes a second chance on love, luck, and the life of a private eye.

• Gumshoe Rendezvous (1999)
  Two one-act comedies of mystery and romance:

  • Remedial Surveillance
    As if teaching this cheap night school private eye class isn't enough aggravation for a burned-out detective named Buzz, now he's got star pupil Irene, a bored Bloomingdale's buyer with a Bogart-Bacall obsession. She's a spunky gumshoe wannabe who drives him nuts with her so-called "fashion clues." Buzz has her pegged as a dizzy dame who's seen too many old movies, but Irene is full of surprises. Her surveillance homework project not only catches Buzz with his pants down, it might just save his hide.

  • Deja Rendezvous
    Buzz and Irene: partners? The seen-it-all ex-cop trying for a comeback and the worn-it-all ex-Bloomie's buyer living out her film-noir fantasy can't seem to agree on anything, not even on splitting up. And the detective biz isn't booming in their shabby little office next to a singing telegram company. When a flamboyant femme fatale out of Buzz's past threatens to poison their partnership (and a lot more), it looks like Buzz and Irene's last case, unless they discover that together they might just have what it takes.